Sunday, January 15, 2012

Male priorities = Sports, then sex. Proven last night

There was a really big sports game last night. I think it was football, which I sometimes call baseball, which I don't watch, which I don't talk about unless I'm talking about Tim Tebow, because who isn't?

Tiger has plans to watch the game with a guy friend, so I make plans with a couple girlfriends, one whose boyfriend is also watching the game, not to watch the game.

I'm meeting Tiger and his friend for dinner. On my way there I realize I forgot a back-up tampon. I have one in, but will it last all night? My pants are a very light color. I'd call them leggings, but there are a lot of haters out there right now who say leggings aren't pants. If I want to flirt with an almost camel toe, that's my business and you don't have to stare at my crotch. Also try stuffing "real" pants into over-the-knee boots.

I contemplate stopping at CVS for tampons. I'm not going to fit a box of twenty super-plus tampons in my tiny wallet/purse. I could ask Tiger to take them for me. I picture Tiger and his friend, at the bar, drinking beer, yelling at the TV with a bag of tampons on his arm. He doesn't deserve this. I text my girlfriend to bring me a tampon. 

I get to the bar with the girls. We're chatting in peace. Or at least in peace from the people around us. Things are getting heated between my two girlfriends. I stare over their heads at the wall. It's not hard, I'm a foot taller. Are they really fighting? Their voices sound raised and tense. They can't really be fighting. It's a fun night out. We have drinks. Oh I think they're really fighting. Should I say something? Maybe we could talk about puppies, everyone loves puppies. No, that could turn into a fight about puppies versus kittens. Okay, I won't say anything. This wall is interesting. Oh look, a football game.

One friend leaves. Oh dear. Men start hitting on us from all sides. What is going on? Why did they leaves us alone until now? I glance around. Is it because? Yup, the football game is over.



3 comments:

  1. yay! i've made it to the blog!:)

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  2. I have sacred basketball night too. Mondays. No sex between 6:30p and 9p cuz the only balls bouncing then are on the court.

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